Tuesday, December 29, 2009


are still not met works in progress.
-still got WAY too much empty time
-failed to get my liscence

-still have no idea what im doing with my life
-still have worsening family issues...

ok now with the positives

-got part my summer planned out already (complete with asian chick who wants me)
>ok, im being a total whore and contradicting previously made statements (shes taken), but i figure if your girl still wants me after not seeing me for a year you dont deserve to keep her
-computers been repaired
-know i got at least a 4.0
-got a few goodies for christmas
-found some pretty damn good music (as well as made a bit)

Saturday, October 31, 2009

what'll we do tonight brain?

the same thing we do every night, TRY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

yeah back to reality...
im not gunna elaborate on me not blogging or why im doing it now and get to ny point.
if im not doing work im bored 90% of the time and thats foul, as lame as elsinore is theres no reason for me being at home as much as i am. i need more/new friends
i love my nerds and all but our list of things to do together is rather short
and my jocks are awesome but most of those n1ggas are dumb
*a lovely lady in my life would be nice too

ehh, i need a solution to this


oh ps. if they sell attention deficit at target and i dont legally buy it, i hope i get hit by lightning while jet skiing

Saturday, September 19, 2009


is ever changing and i think im changing with it

lets see who wins...

Monday, August 17, 2009


yeah so i didnt get the girl...
happy for her - yes
happy - no
the guys a lowkey d-bag

i tried and i failed yeah i shot and i missed
i still see a way to be close so i will just take this
a different kinda relationship with love but were not dating miss
yes i do plan to be close and a much as a friend can get
first off ill let you know im not trying to take his place
aint got a plan or a plot nor am i trying to plead a case
but what i will do is say that i do want you in my life
ill gladly be the best man since i cant have you as my wife
i just wanna be on your line, be connected
dont even need the x & o be my best friend
i know, ive been rejected still gotta have you some way
heres a secret i still dream that ill have you one day
pathetic maybe so how im never letting go
but im stubborn with my loving through and through from head to toe
and i know, it wont happen its what im expecting
but since i cant be your man ill be the next best thing
just hanging out no dates pecks on the cheek, no face
and while id love to hold your hand side be side's just great
as long as im in your presence its better than christmas presents
we'll be good and friendly like the words in this message

Thursday, August 6, 2009

havent done this in a while

ive seem to lost my desire to blog
i wanna express stuff, but i dont wanna take the time to do it.
blogger needs to upgrade to a mind reader, sh1t would be type ill

ill keep this short
heres the important things since last post

-learned to drive a car
-got so inspired by music i cried (dead ass)
-recontemplated actually pursuing my music dream
-rerealized why i love kim so damn much (no nympho)
-made new friends, losing other
-made my first drum loop
-got the ipod fixed

im done (for) now....

you know who it is

oh, p.s.
Everybody's Nobody by XV is like my new favorite mixtape
it even beat back to the future

Monday, July 20, 2009

eSKay verses

i have no faith in my phone's safety, so ill put the lyrics here
>all intentionally negative<
its a persona
im showing you that i can articulate ignorance and have it be both lyrical, and inherently dumb


shes on the brink so i hope that you aint loyal to ya wife
she was like a bush the way she got the oil out my pipe
im nice, im livin my life, im chillin with ice
im spendin crazy chips for real i be forgettin the price
ridiculous, come on please name another dude as sick as this
the only boy thats ever been this fuckin hot is icarus
niggas just, end with "hes great" when they mention this
ill close with my name its eSKay yeah remember it

i did this to the beat for chillin by wale

who and what let you know from beggining
call me eskay with the flow i am vicious
never lame i kill it
no im not wale but i came to get it
reiterate yes flame i spit it
shine's bling i dont even need a chain i glisten
doing my thangs my mission
and if you couldnt tell god dang im gifted
ps i stay stacked with the O's
ridiculous i dont know how to act with the dough
and that seems to attract all the hos
im the best from the rap to the mack to the clothes
this next line is a wrap for you though
i only drive cars seen in the rao videos
and once again with the rap im a pro
its a fact on the track i aint average joe

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

chris look

havent posted anything in a while so heres something...
haha just beat it

checked the good ol' 2dopeboyz.com for music updates and found this.

"Random Acts Of Fuckery: Operation Repo Edition"

"You know home slice has taken his car to the mechanic on some “Do you have any flux capacitors?” type shit, too."

-Meka, co blogger of 2dopeboyz

Tuesday, June 30, 2009


so at first i didnt like summer
-hardly went out
-not many people to talk too
-had a vicious cussing problem
but theres been some recent changes
-still dont go out
-still few people in contact
-my perception changed for the better though
-im [over the bitching and] enjoying what i got
-im so happy me and kim are close again,
its not like it was last year but its good enough
-and i cuss a lot less, and its for the right reason more often
[i know i said bitching in this post ok]

ok im done now,

*oh and theres less family drama

Monday, June 29, 2009

another reason why i dont like people

this whole co-sign on micheal jackson after he's dead thing is a damn shame.
people talked shit on him until the day he died. and in some cases after...[smh at derrell]
and now everyones on his pole now that hes gone.
you dont hear anymore of that pedofile shit now, which is good, but the reasoning sucks.
it shouldnt take a man dying to get forgiveness for something that wasnt proven to be true.

im not about to black, its not gunna change things...


most importantly, rest in peace to mike, one of the most influential entertainers ever...

Sunday, June 28, 2009

D.O.A. (Death Of All-Of-It)

jay killed this one
the beat is type dope as well
i love the symbols in the vid too

Dig my version.
damn i need to record this...

ok the concepts not original, no werthers
yeah jay started it up but im takin' it further
not just the auto-tune lets murk stupidity
they both gotta go, but if not, get rid of me
gotta be kiddin me, this shits ridiculous
what once was pro-black's now just strictly niggerish
shit's just ignorant, it lacks the substance
we let it slide for too long yall, lets make this public
yo mon, me no love dis, aint rastafari
and yeah i undertsnd yall we gots to party
but this nonsense makes me wanna get violent
this is death of all of it, moment of silence

nahh nahh nahh nahh (the lying)
nahh nahh nahh nahh (the killing)
hey hey hey (ignorance)

first issue, lets deal with the lame acts
rap road rage noone knows where they lane's at
just tryna be famous, no real target to aim at
cant be theyself so they try to bite lil wayne's swag
when that fails they switch, lets be a gangsta
i got guns so now you scared of me aint cha?
just sayin anything even if it aint facts
bluff gets called, and next he gets his chain snatched
thats what you get, next time try realistic
the true lyrics & life, anyone miss it?
we got stupid now we gettin violent
this is death of all of it, moment of silence

nahh nahh nahh nahh (the lying)
nahh nahh nahh nahh (the killing)
hey hey hey (ignorance)

not for attention no not tyrna be the mic king
im strictly on my spike tryna do the right thing
and yall aint even gotta love it
not the best rhyme ever, but it is one hundred
im like fuck it, and i aint gunna chill bro
gettin my point across is more important than a ill flow
ok i stole that line from mister hamilton
now that were clear, let me get back to the rant again
el ending & the fin... this shoulda been arrived
lets hunt it everywhere... make it a genocide
extermination yeah it'll be violent
this is death of all of it, moment of silence

nahh nahh nahh nahh (the lying)
nahh nahh nahh nahh (the killing)
hey hey hey (ignorance)

we gotta kill all this bullsh1t yall
this mental recession is greatly depressin...



ps. i wrote all that in like half an hour
& i usually cant do whole songs

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

its been a while...

and my life is at the same spot it was at my last entry.
which is why i havent posted anything until now
still all the same issues
with the addittion of me being bored now that its summer

oh, and monica has a boyfriend now, which shouldnt bug me, but it really does
-will i ever let it go?

on the plus side, im diggin that new wale mixtape. [back to the feature]

and i had a very brief supernatural vacation

ehhh, dealing with wack destiny
-thats a chiasmus in a way lol (nerd joke)


Sunday, June 7, 2009

this perfect life

needs to hurry the hell up already.

my life also needs to become a perfect one already
(insert a big ol' HUH? from everyone who reads this)

this perfect life is charles hamilton's major label debut album,
and get this; hes putting up for free download, months before actually selling it.

am i the only one who thinks that is crazy?
dude that takes balls, for obvious reasons that i dont even need to write
but im one of the reasons he's doing it, i will actually buy that album.
-after downloading the original two months before
(as long as i like it,) & i kinda like the rest of his stuff...
actually, even if i dont ill still buy it, this guys given over a gigabyte of music i like already, and this will help pay him back for his time at least.

ok, switch focus to me now...

my life is great in some aspects, but terrible in others.
in a lot of ways, i have no idea what the hell im doing.
-thats why i always laugh when monica says i seem like i always have everything under control
i have no clue what i want for my future, (well other than to be happy, however i can)
no solid career plan, but my dad wants me to delve into one
side note...
but it draws from a lot of things, & not letting my dad down is one
-massive fckin paradox

my "love life" is also in the (remove expletive) crapper, as well
-cant have my dream girl
-cant have my current flame... which may be a good thing
-cant have my crush
it sucks knowing theres probably a really good reason that youre alone all the time,
being different makes you an outcast, and although i bitch about it; its meant to be
-yeah im saying im destined to be alone, not on some emo sh1t either

yeah i would go further into all this but my mom needs the computer, ill probably not in this mental zone to finish this rant later, but oh well

almost at this perfect life,

*yo, i love how my subliminal messaging is explained, yet never understood, im just that good

Thursday, June 4, 2009

i found the best way to kill a conversation

with a taken girl that likes you.
dead ass tell her you shouldn't be flirting with her cuz she's not available.
my phone hasn't recieved a text from her in a while.
-sucks; i kinda dig the girl, but messing with the taken chick is so last summer (literally)

~i wonder if they will ever read this blog~
-if you do, congrats, im glad you two are making it work together
^(they know who they are)

yikes, this love life of mine...

from the tris & tribs of,

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

i couldnt have said it better myself

"i suck at flirting; im worse at monogamy
i cant seem to stick with just one person"

"its my duty to prove im the sh1t
so is it cocky when i say that im why music exists?"

"since when does a color determine if you spit hard
or just how fckin determined you are?"

"i wont lie you are brash with delivery
but you're not one to dash from your inner beast"

"since we changed the whole system of democracy
why you afraid to even listen to my honesty?"

"if i had a dollar every time i heard
'this nigga rap? fck this n1gga got on? this n1gga wack!'
i swear by now id have benjamin stack,
spend it on crap, & then get it back in 10 minutes flat"

"and i got no swagger at all; no swag what-so-ever
but i got that kinda uh oh clever that can make you feel like youre only but so clever"

"man you sittin on the strangest border
between true love & restraining order"

"i got em sayin' 'this n1gga so nice
its unforgivable like my n1gga Bovice"

"so fck you rappers & your bikes & your chains
this is my life, sadness that'll brighten your day"

this is one of my life coaches, my mentors & my best friends; and ive never met the guy
who has a ton of respect?

deja vu?

last year around this time a friend who had a boyfriend caught feelings for me.
TODAY i find out that the same thing happened; also taken, also summertime.

yo thats max bizarre

and so people dont ever figure this out i wont go into detail
-i gave you like a tenth...

from the oh so very the crazy life of...


ceased to have a point, just gotta live through tomorrow i guess.
did absolutely nothing (academic anyway lol)

kinda upset about my lang grade...
-ehh not too big of a deal though

i wanna go to the graduation; see eveyone one last time
-happy i get to, sad i have to

"that breaks my heart, you should kiss it and make it better"
-she proceedes to kiss my chest

haha i say/do some pretty dumb things for fun.
oh well thats just,

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Xenon, Phone of the 21st Century

haha, disney heads will get that one.

my NEW phone is fresher than (peter) breter's cereal lol
-watch forgetting sarah marshall & youll get that

so damn glad to have a phone agaian
plus its not a razr

and the thing has a notepad, i can now write lyrics anywhere,
then send them to any of my contacts
-some people are gunna get like 20 page texts from me now lol

done with the happy rant now,

Saturday, May 30, 2009

i wish

i knew some talented musicians. (singers in particular)
im not saying that to knock the ones i know...
everybody i have heard & know personally has some type of talent, i just dont know any good lyricists.
-the "bruno boyz" cant rap, like at all, lets face it, but i think they are some damn good producers. i wish i knew how to make beats to that degree, they're gifted there.
~watch dumb niggas say that was a diss~

but i digress...
i wish i knew some people who i can vibe with on a creative level;
-yeah i know i havent recorded anything since i was a little kid, (funny story about that later)
but i already think of collaborations.
i just finished writing a song called tell me lies,
(& i wanna thank drake for inspiration)
& i think itd be way better with a good singer on the hook, & a sung verse.
now i run into a problem, as i dont know anyone with the voice i think it needs...
why cant i live in new york or something wheres theres always a slew of people who make music publicly?

(in the rare event that) any singers happen to read this blog & wanna work with me?;
hit me up at
email - radallen93@yahoo.com

aka... idk, i dont know if i wanna use rada93 as an artist name anymore...

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

really nigga?

i asked:
-ok be real, what's great about me?

and got:
ok, your respectable, your extremely sweet, you can hold a good meaningful conversation, you have a lot to say in a good way, and your soo positive..
ps, you have a great smile!

you shoot me down, then say what has got to be the most genuine thing anyone has ever told me....
im not dumb but i really dont get it....

monica mora, i love you to DEATH, but you confuse the hell out of me

forgive the vulgarity, i talk kinda niggerish when confused/riled up


and the smile thing, my teeth are crooked, i have gaps, and they're a bunch of different sizes...

M.M. Chronicles 2(009)

after the SECOND epic fail

strike two, i more than like you
i get chills down my spine even when i write you
i guess it means that i love your conversation
as well as your companionship, which brings a complication
its pretty tough catching feelings for a friend
i once fought it & lost now its like here we go again
its all the same & it wont change its pretty strange
cuz youve said im a great guy but its never a great time
now ive finally got the message, the "us" just wont happen
but please do this just forgive me for how i acted
wasnt intenentional, i really didnt want to
& never planned on it but it was hard to never want you
but now i see, youll never want to be with me
youre an M im an R, & those two letters dont make WE
& i really hate to admit this its an ugly fact
but ill love you always reguardless if you love me back

yeah... this just made it obvious

I is for Incredible, that's how you make me feel
L is for the Love i have for you, it's oh so real
O is for the Only girl who stay's within my heart
V is for how Very special you've been to me from the start
E is for the Every moment that i hope that we can share
Y is for the Years ive know you, years i've always cared
O is for Outstanding miss, let's face it girl you're fine ;)
U is for only for yoU girl, the one i wish was mine

im not saying this to be sweet either.
i really mean it ♥
~come the fck on, the bolded fragments werent riddiculously upfront?~
where it started getting hard to deny

she's had my heart for a while now
i love more than her style now
so i guess that it's the time now
to tell her what's real
although she looks quite amazing
her inside's driving me crazy
she's lovely to the core
and yeah that's how i feel
she's one hell of a lady
i'd say that she's the best
the kind seen in my dreams
so let me make a request
and i know im not ray-j but heres my one wish
girl please just do this
1 kiss
your 2 lips (muah)

started it up (could be mistaken as flirting)

i can stare into the windows of your soul
and through those holes i can tell you're composed of pure gold
what's the words miss?
when you're fine as wine
add that combine
to the fact that you have a beautiful mind
figured it out yet?
perfection is the answer
you can leave any man stunned
like a perfect geisha dancer
and im kinda under your trance hun
yes its true
and i kinda love this girl
and i guess its you

yeah, didnt get the girl, again..
-some good music came out of it though
(yeah i know, the acrostic shows just how much of a sucker i am)
yeah 2 years ago i underwent a similar process, hence the [2(oo9)]
-with similar music (i wasnt as lyrically talented then though)
i may post the old stuff, may not...

"i cant rap man im just a musician"
-charles hamilton
maybe next time(girl)???

for the first time in a while

im having a really good day
no particular reason either.
im taking a break from overthinking everything.
and kinda ignoring the adversity in my life for now
-parents are crazy
-recently got shot down
-school sucks

and i really couldnt care less about any of it right now, im still smiling
and passing my permit test doesnt hurt either

"with all the chaos & confusion
no stresssin' im still at ease
plenty lightning & plenty thunder
im only feeling the breeze"


im taking a supernatural vacation with tinkerbell
no one is gunna get that lol

Saturday, May 23, 2009


after looking through my drafts & saved messages on myspace,
(i finally cleaned all of that crap out)
i realized i have about an album worth of lyrics
-time wise, not depth wise
i've got an hour, i'm sure.

maybe one day i'll finally record something like i've planned
-hopefully me and ace do something togethere like we've supposed to

if i knew how to produce i think i'd be a menace, i need to learn.
-maybe i could feed jonny bars for tech lessons hahahaha
i probably laugh at my own jokes to much lol,


nice fckin job

this n1gga was blackin.
i mean, i'm an advocate for being real, but going in on her like that?
hey, alls fair in love & lyrics so i guess it wasn't too ridiculous.
-i feel their pain though,
being raw has consequences,
& involvement comes with the possibility of exposure.
but the fist? idk if that was neccescary, then again inadvertantly saying you had sex with someone raw and they're pregnant might've been on the brink too.

the fact that he's that raw is why im such a huge fan/"starchaser"

-a site that shows why some people shouldn't freestyle battle lol

~new thought~
i need to get this coloration scheme straight on the blog, im not just doing it to add color.
reiterations;overall messages;exclamations
the other person in the situation
number 3 - just in case it gets there
stuff that's pleasant
my pessimistic internal questions
deepest thoughts/truths
stuff that has shown itself to lack importance;it's nothing
pleasnt overthinking; charles hamilton related stuff
a little less than green/the darker pink if charles hamilton is also within the same post
Black - stuff that i shouldn't tell people but do anyway, in a not so subliminal fashion
all the rest/the "G" in lmGao

ignore all color in past posts cuz im sure it's been mixed up a few times
-im saying that like im not gunna mess up later...

"rawer than a marlin, fresh up out the water"
-wale, W.A.L.E.D.A.N.C.E.

-robertTHEallen (and obviously charles hamilton lmGao)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

i cant see em comin down my eyes

but i actually feel like crying.
constant psychological bashing has kinda made me immune to it though i guess...

i really shouldn't care this much... but i do

how the fck did a pimp give birth to a kid with a conscious heart?


"i do think your an amazing guy because you really are, but right now im not letting any of my feelings go towards a like you know."

which is worse, that i've been shot down TWICE by the same girl after being completely open with her?
or the fact that i kinda anticipated this?


strike two , and im already out.

im not mad, im not sad, im... idk
cant even describe this. but its not a good feeling

all of a sudden i feel like going to sleep.


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

this lovey dovey thing...

seems like it's gunna work out for the best, but hey, i've been wrong before.

dAmn, i guess no one from the gRoup is meant to be wIth her
-chris should get that one (and anyone else who isn't blind haha)
i really tell on myself a lot...
oh well, gets a kick outta me. lol

but this other thing i got going feels better anyway, she's always had love for me.
(just wasn't "in love" with me)
maybe that's changed, if not, i might target the aforementioned fail, or might become a whore like chris wants me to
(no im not serious, or am i?)

let me stop before this gets any stupider...


Sunday, May 17, 2009

girlfriends are great

actually, they're not. lol
so many relationships suck.

but i want one anyway, one that doesn't fit the stereotype.

actually working on that now.
-if at first you don't suceed, brush yourself off and try again
i love leaving subliminals like that lol
-i doubt anyone would think enough to get that one though

i have a feeling im gunna be writing a lot in the near future,
depending on the "relationship" thing.
the titles will probably be either Victory at Last, or Strike Two
but knowing me that will change, it always does.

shouldn't be putting this up here, i'll look max stupid if i mess everything up...
oh well, "eff it like paid prostitutes" lol

done with all these details that only i get lol,

(and yes, there is a reason for the changes in signiature)

"girlfriends are great

just fuck em and leave em"
-robert allen

things like that are why me and my dad are so radically different.
perception on morailty.

like i believe he's a good dude, but come on.
i dont think anyone thinks just smashing everything in sight is "the right thing to do"
-maybe im just naive (probably not though)

i think this celibate lifestyle im living is the right thing to do, it kinda shows perserverence.
i get laughed at when explaining it to some people, but fck it, i know what's best for me.

to each his own i guess...


Saturday, May 16, 2009

i invited myself to the club lol


To Every Man, Woman & Child...

1. We Want An End To The Glamorization Of Negativity In The Media.

2. We Want An End To Status Symbols Dictating Our Worth As Individuals.

3. We Want A Meaningful And Universal Education System.

4. We Want Substance In The Place Of Popularity.

5. We Will Not Compromise Who We Are To Be Accepted By The Crowd.

6. We Want The Invisible Walls That Separate By Wealth, Race & Class To Be Torn Down.

7. We Want To Think Our Own Thoughts.

8. We Will Be Responsible For Our Environment.

9. We Want Clarity & Truth From Our Elected Officials Or They Should Move Aside.

10. We Want Love Not Lies.

11. We Want An End To All Wars. Foreign & Domestic (Violence).

12. We Want An End To The Processed Culture Of Exploitation, Over-Consumption & Waste.

13. We Want Knowledge, Understanding & Peace.


Lasers are the opposite of losers. Lasers are shining beams of light that burn through the darkness of ignorance. Lasers shed light on injustice and inequality. Losers stand by and let things happen. Lasers act and shape their own destinies. Lasers find meaning and direction in the mysteries all around them. Lasers stand for love and compassion. Lasers stand for peace. Lasers stand for progression. Lasers are revolutionary.Lasers Are The Future.

We're Not Losers...We Are L.A.S.E.R.S.!!!

Love Always Shines Every-time Remember 2 Smile!

things like this prove that there are a few people out there who i could vibe with...
Lupe and his followers are way too cool (and i'm one of them)


eff it. to all the negativity that has recently arisen.

there's wayyy to much beauty and bliss in my life to stay down i guess.
(or maybe im just a hippie lol)

but i still think my mom needs to change.
this relationship is too hazardous.
-like i mean i love her, she's my mom. but i think she's a terrible person.

but i digress, let me talk about that goody goody....
that dance yesterday was close to perfect.
-stuck up girls went extinct last night
(and it was dope!)
-nigged it up with the black folk lol
-that tiffany chick... woah..., just about sums it up
-finally danced with monica*
that dead deserves an asterisk
there were only a few small alterations that would've made it better
-ari going*
-amy going
-the dj not cutting the damn music off
-jonny and his, exstatic adventure... (whatever, the nigga lived)
but like i said, close to perfect.
they'd all be like that if people just stopped the hate for a second to just have fun.
we all need to work on that one.
insert quickie
i really digg bloggin now.
i say all this stuff anyway just not as concentrated and get ignored. at least this way i know someone hears it all (so what if i'm that person)
being my own audience makes sure the reader gets the writer
ok i'm done now...

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

just when i thought i had stuff figured out

reatity give me a haymaker to the temple.
im too stubborn to fall out, but my head is fcked

on good terms with maribel again (at least for now)

my hellish failure at romance said she would date "someone like me"
-max confused on that

the girl who has me infatuated is always messing with my head

a teacher whom i once disliked is now one of by best friends, a confidant, and in some ways, a role model

so turns out, i know nothing.
me being wrong can end up being amazing, or bring a lot of stuff crashing down around me.

i hope for the first, but am prepared for the latter.


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

free promotion for him (give me a J lol)

stay gettin jocked and thats hard when you dont play sports
but im nice, getting respect whether or not on courts
and of course im pretty much like the reining champ
uncontested, cuz the rest all need a training camp
dang im amped, i flex skills and pump muscles
catch up you little rappers
better double time the hussle
and still short ten paces
and my steps are like like light years
none of you are really doin much
your lyrics like light beer
and you're type queer
you're all the same (homo)
thats why i wouldnt join yeah im chill stayin solo

all of yall should envy me
im 9-3 yes the muhphuckin mvp (YA DIGGGG!!!)

did this over the beat to ludacris's (dj premiere's) MVP
he's probably too dumb to remember/get the subliminal in the last bar lol
just in case im wrong...[dude its just lyrics, you already know were still good]
but i win the battle with the words, just imagine if i recorded stuff, you'd kinda be incinerated. (like a holocaust victim)
--if that didnt just point out who this is for lol


*am i just like subconciously jealous???
-fuck outta here with that lmGao

Monday, May 11, 2009

im a monster im a im a monster

no. you're a prick who pretends to be harder than you are in lyrics to cope with societal pressure.
-i hope the "boyz" read my blog even though im sure they dont.

dude, rappers suck. like dead ass.
i consider myself the best rapper at my school, and in the city, & im not even a rapper.
(i just write ill lyrics)

im not bulleting this just to avoid the whole "do you hate jonny" thing again.
i like the nigga, dont like the music, but he's not too bad.

ehh... i guess re-blacking on him wouldn't do much if its not public though, so i guess this will be just a commentative blog.

oh. ps. i should really start recording lyrics...

-your friendly neighborhood robertTHEallen

Saturday, May 9, 2009

so breeze

about everything right now.
i dont remember the last time i was so content, like everything just feels right right now.
i like it.

for the first time in a long while i dont feel any pressure to do anything, and it feels good.
and im glad to know for a fact that my best friend doesn't secretly hate me, and actually appreciates my advice/help.
i like being appreciated, i aslso like helping people.
-which could be considersed selfish as both require someone else to lack something...
*im CRAZY overthinking that
i wish i could go for a walk right now, it feels amazing outside, its warm with a nice breeze, i wanna just wander around aimlessly, enjoying the lack of something to do.
-its odd. i normally get bored when im not busy, right now i actually like it.

*i need to keep this mood, its probably healthy

"i want nothing, because in reality, i have everything i need. and thats all i really ever wanted"
-me (totally just made that up)


Friday, May 8, 2009

jimmy the crow

is another alias im giving myself
for the time being im at 3, not accounting the attactments to originals
-rada93, nine trey
-eSKay, S.Killa Tha Villan (i havent explained that one yet)
-and like i just said, jimmy the crow
*robertTHEallen encompases them all, as i created them all.

i kinda like the seperate but equal thing, seeing as how it applies to life so often, and since jim crow laws were actually SUPPOSED to be like that, im giving the crow a chance to live up to its name.
cool concept if i say so myself. it ties to the blog title, definitions by my dictionary, i define words differently, putting me on a seperate level/wavelength as everyone else, but that doesnt mean when i disagree with someone completely, were not both right, if they percieve a word differently from me, they can be right on their system, while im right on mine, very seperate but equal. im now mature enough to see that we dont have to think the same, and i think thats so cool.
i also think im so cool, and my interpretation of the word arrogant states that im not, because i think i deserve the title, after assesing it logically. if people can form opinions on me, why cant i?
-just a litlle pinking (pleasant overthinking)
as definined by charles hamilton.

"secretly a genius, (by my standards) publicly a fool, (cuz the public is generally wrong) sucks to be this cool (it really does)"
-robertTHEallen, JIMmytheCrow, S.Killa Tha Villian

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


"Niggas call me arrogant, that's because i'm confident
i found it when i found a pen"
-Royce Da 5'9"
that just about sums it all up...
-Jim Da 6'1" [lol]
i'm gunna start using the term "jim crow", it was actually supposed to be seperate but equal,
but im actually going to enforce the equality.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

i really want (NEED) to

to move out.
like dead ass right now.
im so tired of living in a house full of ignorance.

im apparently "whitewashed"
-GOD do i hate that term.

is there a standard for white people?
are they all the same?

well according to my mother, they are
"yeah they all think that they're better than black people and can talk to them any ol kinda way..."

well thats coming from someone who swears that I now think im tough because im taller than my dad, despite the fact that i profess that i know he could undoubtedbly murder me bare handed.

--end result, im too different from the rest of my family.
i dont think race determines character at all, so im obviously just an oblivious hippie who is blinded to the horrors of the "white man"
yeah its not like i believe that the white race has fucked over every civilization its came into contact with or anything....
-and to clarify, i know none of my "white" friends have absolutely nothing to do with that

*so fuckin sick of race relations, so dont even call me black anymore.
the GREEN kid with black skin...

and this doesnt even explain how my morning went...

Saturday, May 2, 2009

something ive thought but never verbalized

nigga why you blogging? didnt you JUST say you were tired of it?
ME:shut up nigga, its MY blog, in this spot, i run shit like an ass with legs
totally imaginary convo between me and me

ok here goes,

i get that im hard to understand, but cant people just accept that i cant be fully gotten and love me anyway, on some appreciate what you got type of ishh?
-Too much to ask?

if you're like this, and you're not a dude (and never were one), get at me. dead ass.

a pinch of purity, a lump of lovey-dovey, and a sack of sucker-for-love,
also known as... robertTHEallen


is how im looking at life right now.
like dead ass, its like mental numbness.
in honesty this week has swallowed more come than that bridgette chick
(im screwed if someone from school reads this lol)
testing all week, 2 finals, and SAT's... fawwwK dude, no bueno.

but im getting through it all, as always...
ayo... since im like superman and ish, wheres the lois lane at?
like dead ass, im not digging the single life... not tryna poke every chick in sight either...
-knowing my dad was a whore makes me wanna do right by women i guess....
*dont get it confused though, never desperate.

ehh, tired of blogging so im out like a fat chick in dodgeball, haha

until next time its, ...

(dot blogspot dot com)

and ps. i rescended my rescention of the maribel thing.
damn it... so done with the yo-yo shit (the cuss was nessecary)

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

chris needs to do some reading some time...

and since i know he'll eventually read this, ill write him something.

had one eventful day today

-got b!tc#ed at my amber reid... again (so sophmoric)
-pwned that star test (yeah i use pwned) thanks to connor...
-took a pretty good listen to show tufli (he's ok, but not on the CH level)
*talked to maribel again... whatever, it was short and not infuriating,
maybe ill rescend the whole "stop talking to her completely" thing
-knocked some d-bag out of a chair (jacob lemons)
yeah just sit down
shut up or i'll throw you out of that chair
you wont do it, i want you to
get up
SUB: did you just knock him out of the chair?
yeah, he asked me to do it
*looks his way for conformation*
*nods* yeah, i did
insert [OWNED!] (felt over 9000 about it)
-supersmashed my art history portfolio, done two weeks early and with extra credit work
-showed that nigga jeremiah whats good with the megaman
(thought he could win when i taught him how to play...imus target)
-got in trouble
--threw the little sis(bro)ther into the pool with all his clothes on
(punishment=not allowed to eat for two days [yeah, that'll happen] lmGao)

ahh, other blogworthy stuff in the domepiece, but not for now.

until next time its,

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

even when i feel dumb, im mentally up there >yeah i said it<

im confused about a lot at the moment
its to the point to where i can't articulate it in its entirety.
i may blog about it later once i can...

but im am pretty upset/mad that a "friend" blaitantly lied to me
-she has no idea that i know... and im not gunna bring it up ever, im just not talking to her anymore... f*ck her. dead ass

listening to the manipulation by wale,
right now that's how i feel about women, i thought about being the bad guy, but i dont plan to just mess with someone's emotions.
-i think thats mature, but hey, i also think im a genius, unattractive, and a good lyricist

speakin of lyrics, an idiot had the nerve to call me out on some musical stuff...
not even gunna black about that, the lame doesent deserve my energy.
(we're still friends though)
and at the end of the day, thats what matters;
but im sure anyone with taste would agree that im better.
-but who nows, i might actually suck (but that's unlikely) lol

and that's just the stuff i can articulate

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Relationship Status

a female needs to fall in love with me like... now
dead ass, i'm tired of being single,
the fact that like everyone is pairing up is just throwing it in my face

on the protonic side, it got me to write this

Oxygen Mask, by robert (THE) allen
-title definition : i feel isolated / left out

it seems like love's in the air
and i'm not filling my lungs
suckin' in my own gas
and its really no fun
i'm not jealous of my fellas but i want the same
someone to have, to hold, you know, the real thing
but congrats to my dudes your work just paid off
but damn i'd never would've guessed that i'd get laid off
i really wanna be employed
just like all of my boys
group dates are soundin' great
but i need a chick to enjoy

like i said, congrats guys, i just wanna share the joy, get me?
that's not being selfish

-am i congratulatory?
-am i jealous?
-am i understandable?
-am i bitching?
-am i crazy? >you already know< haha
-am i asking too many questions?

^ the last one was a joke ^

-robert allen

life is so good in my neck of the woods (especially for my fellow woodsmen haha)

for stuff that didn't happen directly to me
-happy for others
im not in a good mood but but im happy
-paradox much?
im just on a super buzz about all the great things happening to people around me (you know)
-and the say i'm evil haha
birthday friday
got headphones
downloaded asher's cd (tried to buy it, target smokes the pole)
and im not grounded

alex's scenario*
connor's scenario *
(will happen soon) matt's scenario ***
congrats guys, i guess all the crap paid off
if i found a lady this would be amazing
-not saying that to keep up, >A,C,M< just something i've wanted


Sunday, April 19, 2009


suck. dead ass.
i've been to two funerals in my life, i didn't know either of the people.
that may seem good - i didn't lose someone close
but it sucked anyway - i felt guilty for not feeling bad
-on top of feeling bad for those who did lose someone close.
--rest in peace annie serrella brooks--
"you live forever through the legacy you leave."

the whole time out there, i really didn't like it but i lerned a lot, so i guess the trip was worthwile.

some other things passed away other than the shell of my great aunt.

rest in peace to my curiosity as to why my dad doesn't bring us around family.
i found out i'm related to a lot of people who are full of "rhetoric" lol.
i'm not gunna go into detail strictly because i'm not in the mood to type too much...

my respect for (a few more) >read older entries< family members died as well.

-robert allen

oh wait! what would you say during a eulogy at MY funeral???
-is anyone gunna miss me?
either way eff it. i'll be dead, too late to start appreciating (or hating) me
-but i am curious

~turns up "La Di Da" by Asher Roth >buy his album tommorrow<

ok i'm finally done with the post (took me long enough)
-ending transmission. Peace

i think this one is good enough for the blog

the petals of a daisy
the color of the sun
in yellow you're amazing
better than number one
i've dreamt of seeing pure beauty yes it is true
but i'll never imagine one even comparing to you
and to just say you look exquisite is such an understatement
but nothing could do you justice, im speechless let's face it
you're breathtaking
even inspiring awe
i could stare at you for hours
never finding a flaw

Kim - im glad you liked it

Cam - please forgive me (sike lmgao)

charles - yeah, i did it. >not plagarism buddy<

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


damn... im getting type tired of people as a whole. its almost as if someone can't be logical & morally intact at the same time, and some of the people who are have the debillitating quality of bad association. the world is f*ckin up. (i cuss too much, i'm gunna try and limit it on the blog) and the fact that conformity is on the rise is also all bad.

i get gawked at for how i dress, people talk about me when they think i can't hear them, some people pop off in my face, and some bitch (that cuss was nessecary)[mrs glenn] had the nerve to say im like kany west. - i'm a big fan of the man, but no way in hell am i like him. i'm a creative individual who doesn't draw upon others to formulate his own identidy. its like being different makes you the same now because everyone is "different". well with me its effortless (trust and believe a grip of people have to try to be "themselves"- its called insecurity), i don't try to be this way, it just happens, so therefore there's nobody like me, digg? - i digress, that proves that people need to analyze things from various vantadge points, look at the qualities of other styles and the world will be a better place.
-do absolutely nothing, im not affected
by you bandwagon riding simpletons
-white is nothing, conformists are nothing
[digg the visual rhetoric]"perception is reality, but my reality has nothing to do with your perception of me"
[yeah, THE allen]

Sunday, April 12, 2009

New Goal, New Clothes

so yesterday was my great grandma's 89th birthday. theres like 5 generations going on my moms side of the family. so after all the formal celebrating,
(in a convalescent hospital, how fun)
>she and i both hate it there<
the women (in retrospect they're not) start talking, eventually the conversation brings up their thoughts on men/marriage. they unanimously think you should only marry someone financiall well off and also, its ok to go out on a date just because the person will pay. guess who just lost a lost of respect for all of them?
So now my new goal is to raise my daughter to not be like that, id rather have her date someone she actually loves that is broke instead of someone she just uses.
(id get disowned if anyone in my family read that lol)

on the positive of the day though, my great grandmother lived to be 89, some of my family actually got together, and in my selfish benefit; i got new clothes. me, my aunt, and my little brother just slipped away cuz i wanted to leave the hospital but we had no plan. my aunt decides to go to return some clothes she didnt want to fill the void. i didnt exactly feel like watching her look for clothes so i wandered off to the mens section not really looking for anything. found a polo i liked (they're my new material obsession) and went to the register. my aunt sees this and decides to buy it for me despite my arguing over it [she won, she said it was a birthday present]. she even tells me to grab another one and suggests a pink one. i know am the proud owner of a pink polo lol
(thought of the charles hamilton song)
-and i wonder... if you know... what it means... what it means... haha

-robert allen

and oh yeah, happy easter

Friday, April 10, 2009

today was

not something i expected seeing as i spent most of it waith my family. breakfast,golfing,movie,dinner, back to back.
the only drama was due to our food getting messed up.
i suck like that bridgette chick (super blacked! lol) at golfing and the movie was so boring i fell asleep but the day was actually pleasant enough for me to want to do it again.

and now...
listen to that charles tape i havent gotten to yet or watch oceans 11 like ive planned on all week?
hmm decisions decisions...
-robert allen

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Finally did it

so i decided to finally go through with creating a blog.
now myspacers wont have to worry about dealing with my overly complex bulletins.
people can just look at this if they choose.
i wonder if ill have an audience, i dont need an audience, i hope i have an audience, if not oh well.
expect the same crap i put out now: my inner thoughts and my lyrics that i still need to record.
im probably gunna use this thing way too much now.