Sunday, May 31, 2009

Xenon, Phone of the 21st Century

haha, disney heads will get that one.

my NEW phone is fresher than (peter) breter's cereal lol
-watch forgetting sarah marshall & youll get that

so damn glad to have a phone agaian
plus its not a razr

and the thing has a notepad, i can now write lyrics anywhere,
then send them to any of my contacts
-some people are gunna get like 20 page texts from me now lol

done with the happy rant now,

Saturday, May 30, 2009

i wish

i knew some talented musicians. (singers in particular)
im not saying that to knock the ones i know...
everybody i have heard & know personally has some type of talent, i just dont know any good lyricists.
-the "bruno boyz" cant rap, like at all, lets face it, but i think they are some damn good producers. i wish i knew how to make beats to that degree, they're gifted there.
~watch dumb niggas say that was a diss~

but i digress...
i wish i knew some people who i can vibe with on a creative level;
-yeah i know i havent recorded anything since i was a little kid, (funny story about that later)
but i already think of collaborations.
i just finished writing a song called tell me lies,
(& i wanna thank drake for inspiration)
& i think itd be way better with a good singer on the hook, & a sung verse.
now i run into a problem, as i dont know anyone with the voice i think it needs...
why cant i live in new york or something wheres theres always a slew of people who make music publicly?

(in the rare event that) any singers happen to read this blog & wanna work with me?;
hit me up at
email -

aka... idk, i dont know if i wanna use rada93 as an artist name anymore...

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

really nigga?

i asked:
-ok be real, what's great about me?

and got:
ok, your respectable, your extremely sweet, you can hold a good meaningful conversation, you have a lot to say in a good way, and your soo positive..
ps, you have a great smile!

you shoot me down, then say what has got to be the most genuine thing anyone has ever told me....
im not dumb but i really dont get it....

monica mora, i love you to DEATH, but you confuse the hell out of me

forgive the vulgarity, i talk kinda niggerish when confused/riled up


and the smile thing, my teeth are crooked, i have gaps, and they're a bunch of different sizes...

M.M. Chronicles 2(009)

after the SECOND epic fail

strike two, i more than like you
i get chills down my spine even when i write you
i guess it means that i love your conversation
as well as your companionship, which brings a complication
its pretty tough catching feelings for a friend
i once fought it & lost now its like here we go again
its all the same & it wont change its pretty strange
cuz youve said im a great guy but its never a great time
now ive finally got the message, the "us" just wont happen
but please do this just forgive me for how i acted
wasnt intenentional, i really didnt want to
& never planned on it but it was hard to never want you
but now i see, youll never want to be with me
youre an M im an R, & those two letters dont make WE
& i really hate to admit this its an ugly fact
but ill love you always reguardless if you love me back

yeah... this just made it obvious

I is for Incredible, that's how you make me feel
L is for the Love i have for you, it's oh so real
O is for the Only girl who stay's within my heart
V is for how Very special you've been to me from the start
E is for the Every moment that i hope that we can share
Y is for the Years ive know you, years i've always cared
O is for Outstanding miss, let's face it girl you're fine ;)
U is for only for yoU girl, the one i wish was mine

im not saying this to be sweet either.
i really mean it ♥
~come the fck on, the bolded fragments werent riddiculously upfront?~
where it started getting hard to deny

she's had my heart for a while now
i love more than her style now
so i guess that it's the time now
to tell her what's real
although she looks quite amazing
her inside's driving me crazy
she's lovely to the core
and yeah that's how i feel
she's one hell of a lady
i'd say that she's the best
the kind seen in my dreams
so let me make a request
and i know im not ray-j but heres my one wish
girl please just do this
1 kiss
your 2 lips (muah)

started it up (could be mistaken as flirting)

i can stare into the windows of your soul
and through those holes i can tell you're composed of pure gold
what's the words miss?
when you're fine as wine
add that combine
to the fact that you have a beautiful mind
figured it out yet?
perfection is the answer
you can leave any man stunned
like a perfect geisha dancer
and im kinda under your trance hun
yes its true
and i kinda love this girl
and i guess its you

yeah, didnt get the girl, again..
-some good music came out of it though
(yeah i know, the acrostic shows just how much of a sucker i am)
yeah 2 years ago i underwent a similar process, hence the [2(oo9)]
-with similar music (i wasnt as lyrically talented then though)
i may post the old stuff, may not...

"i cant rap man im just a musician"
-charles hamilton
maybe next time(girl)???

for the first time in a while

im having a really good day
no particular reason either.
im taking a break from overthinking everything.
and kinda ignoring the adversity in my life for now
-parents are crazy
-recently got shot down
-school sucks

and i really couldnt care less about any of it right now, im still smiling
and passing my permit test doesnt hurt either

"with all the chaos & confusion
no stresssin' im still at ease
plenty lightning & plenty thunder
im only feeling the breeze"


im taking a supernatural vacation with tinkerbell
no one is gunna get that lol

Saturday, May 23, 2009


after looking through my drafts & saved messages on myspace,
(i finally cleaned all of that crap out)
i realized i have about an album worth of lyrics
-time wise, not depth wise
i've got an hour, i'm sure.

maybe one day i'll finally record something like i've planned
-hopefully me and ace do something togethere like we've supposed to

if i knew how to produce i think i'd be a menace, i need to learn.
-maybe i could feed jonny bars for tech lessons hahahaha
i probably laugh at my own jokes to much lol,


nice fckin job

this n1gga was blackin.
i mean, i'm an advocate for being real, but going in on her like that?
hey, alls fair in love & lyrics so i guess it wasn't too ridiculous.
-i feel their pain though,
being raw has consequences,
& involvement comes with the possibility of exposure.
but the fist? idk if that was neccescary, then again inadvertantly saying you had sex with someone raw and they're pregnant might've been on the brink too.

the fact that he's that raw is why im such a huge fan/"starchaser"
-a site that shows why some people shouldn't freestyle battle lol

~new thought~
i need to get this coloration scheme straight on the blog, im not just doing it to add color.
reiterations;overall messages;exclamations
the other person in the situation
number 3 - just in case it gets there
stuff that's pleasant
my pessimistic internal questions
deepest thoughts/truths
stuff that has shown itself to lack importance;it's nothing
pleasnt overthinking; charles hamilton related stuff
a little less than green/the darker pink if charles hamilton is also within the same post
Black - stuff that i shouldn't tell people but do anyway, in a not so subliminal fashion
all the rest/the "G" in lmGao

ignore all color in past posts cuz im sure it's been mixed up a few times
-im saying that like im not gunna mess up later...

"rawer than a marlin, fresh up out the water"
-wale, W.A.L.E.D.A.N.C.E.

-robertTHEallen (and obviously charles hamilton lmGao)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

i cant see em comin down my eyes

but i actually feel like crying.
constant psychological bashing has kinda made me immune to it though i guess...

i really shouldn't care this much... but i do

how the fck did a pimp give birth to a kid with a conscious heart?


"i do think your an amazing guy because you really are, but right now im not letting any of my feelings go towards a like you know."

which is worse, that i've been shot down TWICE by the same girl after being completely open with her?
or the fact that i kinda anticipated this?


strike two , and im already out.

im not mad, im not sad, im... idk
cant even describe this. but its not a good feeling

all of a sudden i feel like going to sleep.


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

this lovey dovey thing...

seems like it's gunna work out for the best, but hey, i've been wrong before.

dAmn, i guess no one from the gRoup is meant to be wIth her
-chris should get that one (and anyone else who isn't blind haha)
i really tell on myself a lot...
oh well, gets a kick outta me. lol

but this other thing i got going feels better anyway, she's always had love for me.
(just wasn't "in love" with me)
maybe that's changed, if not, i might target the aforementioned fail, or might become a whore like chris wants me to
(no im not serious, or am i?)

let me stop before this gets any stupider...


Sunday, May 17, 2009

girlfriends are great

actually, they're not. lol
so many relationships suck.

but i want one anyway, one that doesn't fit the stereotype.

actually working on that now.
-if at first you don't suceed, brush yourself off and try again
i love leaving subliminals like that lol
-i doubt anyone would think enough to get that one though

i have a feeling im gunna be writing a lot in the near future,
depending on the "relationship" thing.
the titles will probably be either Victory at Last, or Strike Two
but knowing me that will change, it always does.

shouldn't be putting this up here, i'll look max stupid if i mess everything up...
oh well, "eff it like paid prostitutes" lol

done with all these details that only i get lol,

(and yes, there is a reason for the changes in signiature)

"girlfriends are great

just fuck em and leave em"
-robert allen

things like that are why me and my dad are so radically different.
perception on morailty.

like i believe he's a good dude, but come on.
i dont think anyone thinks just smashing everything in sight is "the right thing to do"
-maybe im just naive (probably not though)

i think this celibate lifestyle im living is the right thing to do, it kinda shows perserverence.
i get laughed at when explaining it to some people, but fck it, i know what's best for me.

to each his own i guess...


Saturday, May 16, 2009

i invited myself to the club lol


To Every Man, Woman & Child...

1. We Want An End To The Glamorization Of Negativity In The Media.

2. We Want An End To Status Symbols Dictating Our Worth As Individuals.

3. We Want A Meaningful And Universal Education System.

4. We Want Substance In The Place Of Popularity.

5. We Will Not Compromise Who We Are To Be Accepted By The Crowd.

6. We Want The Invisible Walls That Separate By Wealth, Race & Class To Be Torn Down.

7. We Want To Think Our Own Thoughts.

8. We Will Be Responsible For Our Environment.

9. We Want Clarity & Truth From Our Elected Officials Or They Should Move Aside.

10. We Want Love Not Lies.

11. We Want An End To All Wars. Foreign & Domestic (Violence).

12. We Want An End To The Processed Culture Of Exploitation, Over-Consumption & Waste.

13. We Want Knowledge, Understanding & Peace.


Lasers are the opposite of losers. Lasers are shining beams of light that burn through the darkness of ignorance. Lasers shed light on injustice and inequality. Losers stand by and let things happen. Lasers act and shape their own destinies. Lasers find meaning and direction in the mysteries all around them. Lasers stand for love and compassion. Lasers stand for peace. Lasers stand for progression. Lasers are revolutionary.Lasers Are The Future.

We're Not Losers...We Are L.A.S.E.R.S.!!!

Love Always Shines Every-time Remember 2 Smile!

things like this prove that there are a few people out there who i could vibe with...
Lupe and his followers are way too cool (and i'm one of them)


eff it. to all the negativity that has recently arisen.

there's wayyy to much beauty and bliss in my life to stay down i guess.
(or maybe im just a hippie lol)

but i still think my mom needs to change.
this relationship is too hazardous.
-like i mean i love her, she's my mom. but i think she's a terrible person.

but i digress, let me talk about that goody goody....
that dance yesterday was close to perfect.
-stuck up girls went extinct last night
(and it was dope!)
-nigged it up with the black folk lol
-that tiffany chick... woah..., just about sums it up
-finally danced with monica*
that dead deserves an asterisk
there were only a few small alterations that would've made it better
-ari going*
-amy going
-the dj not cutting the damn music off
-jonny and his, exstatic adventure... (whatever, the nigga lived)
but like i said, close to perfect.
they'd all be like that if people just stopped the hate for a second to just have fun.
we all need to work on that one.
insert quickie
i really digg bloggin now.
i say all this stuff anyway just not as concentrated and get ignored. at least this way i know someone hears it all (so what if i'm that person)
being my own audience makes sure the reader gets the writer
ok i'm done now...

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

just when i thought i had stuff figured out

reatity give me a haymaker to the temple.
im too stubborn to fall out, but my head is fcked

on good terms with maribel again (at least for now)

my hellish failure at romance said she would date "someone like me"
-max confused on that

the girl who has me infatuated is always messing with my head

a teacher whom i once disliked is now one of by best friends, a confidant, and in some ways, a role model

so turns out, i know nothing.
me being wrong can end up being amazing, or bring a lot of stuff crashing down around me.

i hope for the first, but am prepared for the latter.


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

free promotion for him (give me a J lol)

stay gettin jocked and thats hard when you dont play sports
but im nice, getting respect whether or not on courts
and of course im pretty much like the reining champ
uncontested, cuz the rest all need a training camp
dang im amped, i flex skills and pump muscles
catch up you little rappers
better double time the hussle
and still short ten paces
and my steps are like like light years
none of you are really doin much
your lyrics like light beer
and you're type queer
you're all the same (homo)
thats why i wouldnt join yeah im chill stayin solo

all of yall should envy me
im 9-3 yes the muhphuckin mvp (YA DIGGGG!!!)

did this over the beat to ludacris's (dj premiere's) MVP
he's probably too dumb to remember/get the subliminal in the last bar lol
just in case im wrong...[dude its just lyrics, you already know were still good]
but i win the battle with the words, just imagine if i recorded stuff, you'd kinda be incinerated. (like a holocaust victim)
--if that didnt just point out who this is for lol


*am i just like subconciously jealous???
-fuck outta here with that lmGao

Monday, May 11, 2009

im a monster im a im a monster

no. you're a prick who pretends to be harder than you are in lyrics to cope with societal pressure.
-i hope the "boyz" read my blog even though im sure they dont.

dude, rappers suck. like dead ass.
i consider myself the best rapper at my school, and in the city, & im not even a rapper.
(i just write ill lyrics)

im not bulleting this just to avoid the whole "do you hate jonny" thing again.
i like the nigga, dont like the music, but he's not too bad.

ehh... i guess re-blacking on him wouldn't do much if its not public though, so i guess this will be just a commentative blog.

oh. ps. i should really start recording lyrics...

-your friendly neighborhood robertTHEallen

Saturday, May 9, 2009

so breeze

about everything right now.
i dont remember the last time i was so content, like everything just feels right right now.
i like it.

for the first time in a long while i dont feel any pressure to do anything, and it feels good.
and im glad to know for a fact that my best friend doesn't secretly hate me, and actually appreciates my advice/help.
i like being appreciated, i aslso like helping people.
-which could be considersed selfish as both require someone else to lack something...
*im CRAZY overthinking that
i wish i could go for a walk right now, it feels amazing outside, its warm with a nice breeze, i wanna just wander around aimlessly, enjoying the lack of something to do.
-its odd. i normally get bored when im not busy, right now i actually like it.

*i need to keep this mood, its probably healthy

"i want nothing, because in reality, i have everything i need. and thats all i really ever wanted"
-me (totally just made that up)


Friday, May 8, 2009

jimmy the crow

is another alias im giving myself
for the time being im at 3, not accounting the attactments to originals
-rada93, nine trey
-eSKay, S.Killa Tha Villan (i havent explained that one yet)
-and like i just said, jimmy the crow
*robertTHEallen encompases them all, as i created them all.

i kinda like the seperate but equal thing, seeing as how it applies to life so often, and since jim crow laws were actually SUPPOSED to be like that, im giving the crow a chance to live up to its name.
cool concept if i say so myself. it ties to the blog title, definitions by my dictionary, i define words differently, putting me on a seperate level/wavelength as everyone else, but that doesnt mean when i disagree with someone completely, were not both right, if they percieve a word differently from me, they can be right on their system, while im right on mine, very seperate but equal. im now mature enough to see that we dont have to think the same, and i think thats so cool.
i also think im so cool, and my interpretation of the word arrogant states that im not, because i think i deserve the title, after assesing it logically. if people can form opinions on me, why cant i?
-just a litlle pinking (pleasant overthinking)
as definined by charles hamilton.

"secretly a genius, (by my standards) publicly a fool, (cuz the public is generally wrong) sucks to be this cool (it really does)"
-robertTHEallen, JIMmytheCrow, S.Killa Tha Villian

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


"Niggas call me arrogant, that's because i'm confident
i found it when i found a pen"
-Royce Da 5'9"
that just about sums it all up...
-Jim Da 6'1" [lol]
i'm gunna start using the term "jim crow", it was actually supposed to be seperate but equal,
but im actually going to enforce the equality.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

i really want (NEED) to

to move out.
like dead ass right now.
im so tired of living in a house full of ignorance.

im apparently "whitewashed"
-GOD do i hate that term.

is there a standard for white people?
are they all the same?

well according to my mother, they are
"yeah they all think that they're better than black people and can talk to them any ol kinda way..."

well thats coming from someone who swears that I now think im tough because im taller than my dad, despite the fact that i profess that i know he could undoubtedbly murder me bare handed.

--end result, im too different from the rest of my family.
i dont think race determines character at all, so im obviously just an oblivious hippie who is blinded to the horrors of the "white man"
yeah its not like i believe that the white race has fucked over every civilization its came into contact with or anything....
-and to clarify, i know none of my "white" friends have absolutely nothing to do with that

*so fuckin sick of race relations, so dont even call me black anymore.
the GREEN kid with black skin...

and this doesnt even explain how my morning went...

Saturday, May 2, 2009

something ive thought but never verbalized

nigga why you blogging? didnt you JUST say you were tired of it?
ME:shut up nigga, its MY blog, in this spot, i run shit like an ass with legs
totally imaginary convo between me and me

ok here goes,

i get that im hard to understand, but cant people just accept that i cant be fully gotten and love me anyway, on some appreciate what you got type of ishh?
-Too much to ask?

if you're like this, and you're not a dude (and never were one), get at me. dead ass.

a pinch of purity, a lump of lovey-dovey, and a sack of sucker-for-love,
also known as... robertTHEallen


is how im looking at life right now.
like dead ass, its like mental numbness.
in honesty this week has swallowed more come than that bridgette chick
(im screwed if someone from school reads this lol)
testing all week, 2 finals, and SAT's... fawwwK dude, no bueno.

but im getting through it all, as always...
ayo... since im like superman and ish, wheres the lois lane at?
like dead ass, im not digging the single life... not tryna poke every chick in sight either...
-knowing my dad was a whore makes me wanna do right by women i guess....
*dont get it confused though, never desperate.

ehh, tired of blogging so im out like a fat chick in dodgeball, haha

until next time its, ...

(dot blogspot dot com)

and ps. i rescended my rescention of the maribel thing.
damn it... so done with the yo-yo shit (the cuss was nessecary)